In this interesting TED Talk, Janine Driver shares some simple words to help get what you want. This is all about realising when opportunities exist and to pursue them; rather than thinking it a waste of time to probe and chase further.
The base of her talk is contained within the phrase, “decided-ly because changes what was”.
Decided and the ‘ly’ words
When someone says that they’ve “decided” to do something, it doesn’t mean that they’ve executed. How many times have we all said that we have decided to act, then not followed through. Yet how often do we choose not to pursue an opportunity because someone tells us that a course of action has already been decided upon.
Similarly, words that end with ‘ly’: when someone uses an ly word there’s often an opportunity to explore further, rather than accepting it is a dead end.
Think of these comments:
- “Typically we don’t hire…”
- “Normally we do things this way…”
- “Appointments usually…”
These are the ‘ly’ words. And like ‘decided’, they indicate the matter is not set in stone. They leave a window of opportunity to push boundaries.
This is really useful to remember when we hear these words in conversation.
Hearing that someone doesn’t typically hire someone without certain experience, doesn’t mean that they won’t in a different circumstance. There’s still an opportunity there to pursue.
Just because an appointment doesn’t usually occur unless the applicant has X years of experience, what’s to say it shouldn’t happen in this instance?
These are examples where the door is being left open to other possibilities.
It may not be easy and straight forward. You might need to push hard to open the door further.
As you tune into these words, they become an alarm going off in your mind; and that’s when ‘because’ in her phrase kicks in.
Because…
Because then opens up the opportunity. It’s where you can highlight the reasons why ‘decided’ and the ‘ly’ words don’t apply to you.
“Because my unique experience is going to add a different perspective”. “Because I’ve already exceeded all expectations.” These are just some simplistic examples that can explore the opportunity.
In addition to these 3 simple words to get what you want, Janine also shares the 3 stages of decision making that helps in understanding the impacts these can have. Watch the 23-minute TED Talk here:
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