If taking things too personally is causing you problems, Frederik Imbo shares 2 strategies that could help in this interesting TED Talk.
His own experiences of taking things too personally led him to become a football referee to learn how to not take things personally. What better environment is there to learn than from doing something where, in the eyes of somebody associated with the game, you are always seen by spectators to be in the wrong.
He makes the point about our ego’s wanting us to be acknowledged. Then Frederik asks what is more important? Being right or being happy?
The 2 strategies Frederik shares to help in not taking things too personally are:
‘It is not about me’
By shifting the view from ‘me’ to ‘we’, it makes space for understanding rather than irritation. That comes from looking at the other person’s intention. We never really know what their intention is, so our mind tends to fill in the gaps.
‘It is about me’
The first strategy is simple in theory, but not necessarily easy to implement. And when it doesn’t work, it’s sometimes down to our own insecurities that we haven’t come to terms with. This is where Frederik encourages us to give ourselves empathy and to speak up. Be vulnerable without blaming. This could lead to understanding on the others part.
Here is the 18-minute TED Talk on not taking things too personally:
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